Two girlfriends chatted next to me at a cozy restaurant last week.  They hadn’t seen each other in a while, but it didn’t take long before they learned each was planning a daughter’s wedding.  One was a home affair with caterer, a band, and flowers from a shop famous for extravagant displays.  The other was scheduling a destination wedding.  Except for seeking the right perfect mother-of-the bride dress, it appeared they had few common challenges.

Then one mentioned that her future son-in-law’s parents had been divorced when he was five. Now both of his parents have remarried and had additional children.  One set of grandparents had also divorced and remarried.  “Can you imagine?  Two full sets of parents, six grandparents, and who knows how many aunts and uncles and siblings!  We’ll have four tables of just his immediate family.” 

“Same problem!” exclaimed her friend. “By the time his family comes down the aisle, the candles will be out!”  They were puzzling over the dynamics of handling all the groom’s family when my tardy friend appeared. 

Looking over the menu, I pondered their future: Should the in-laws open the discussion of seating and processional?  Would that be seen as interfering?  Is this how wedding planners earn their stripes?  Or is this where the daughters take over, since this will be a preview of the complexities of shared holidays in the future?

I looked on the menu for Italian Wedding soup.  No such luck.