I had a good read last week that set me thinking.  It was by a young woman who found herself – barely thirty years old – on a date with a fellow who had two car seats firmly affixed in his sedan’s back seat.  She admitted surprise – and acceptance – that at her age, a permanent relationship as Wife might bring with it the immediate title “Stepmom.”  About 50 percent of first marriages end in divorce, as do nearly 70 percent of second marriages.  This means, among other things, that when it comes to romance, the chances of being a StepSomething are pretty good.  But the sight of the car seats drove the point home faster than a table of cold statistics could.

I wonder if it is easier – or more difficult – to stepparent before one has parented.  Does being a father first make you a better stepfather?  Or, does the role of stepparent so vary from that of parent that whether or not you have Parenting 101 before enrolling in Stepparenting makes little difference?  Does it seem that Parenting 101 follows rules that are self imposed; but, the rules of Stepparenting are often the creation of the original parent which the stepparent is expected to follow?

Is it easier on the family if both members of the couple are “Steps?”  What is it that makes for good stepparenting?