“This is second-wife heaven!”

Wha’???? The quote appeared midway through what was otherwise a fairly innocuous party report in “The Reliable Source” gossip column in yesterday’s Washington Post. The scene was a fundraiser for the Washington Humane Society, “Fashion for Paws,” complete with jacketed dogs and fancy ladies walking the runway with their favorite pets. I was mildly annoyed amidst my confusion about this “heaven,” then more so as I reread the surrounding sentences. The crowd, it said, included about “1,000 Georgetown party people, average age of roughly 29, in blazers and cocktail dresses.” The bit ended with the quote, “‘This is second-wife heaven,’” murmured an older lobbyist,” leering, no doubt, after this bevy of young things.

What should we take from this? That older men, tired of the bulging stomachs and graying hair of that deteriorating first wife, long for a new, improved model? That those twenty-somethings are in the market for a tried-and-tested husband, one that appreciates their nubile charms in comparison to the boredom at home? That the naif who croons, “You’re just fascinating,” is better than the richness of an equal, sophisticated, deep and meaningful relationship?

Men and women have moved beyond this, certainly. Though it could be my own naivete, I believe that our fresh start was not based on graying spouses or a search for a trophy partner. Of course, then I watch cable’s newest reality show star, “The Millionnaire Matchmaker “, and see hordes of what I feel are neanderthal attitudes being trotted out week after week. No wonder I worry anew as I gaze into my morning mirror.

I guess there are still golddiggers, and older men looking for trophy wives. I hope they all get what they deserve.