A gal by any other name smells as sweet, but some choose to remain the same. This primer on surnames IDs the basics.

by Patricia J. Lasher

Elizabeth Taylor is smart when it comes to the name business. This busy navigator on the sea of matrimony could have changed from Elizabeth Taylor, to Hilton, to Wilding, to Todd, to Fisher, to Burton (twice), to Warner, then Fortensky. But, she started with Taylor and kept it. Cher, Madonna, and Rihanna took it even one step further.

In the English tradition-primogeniture, patriarchy, the Empire, and all that – a woman took her maiden name from her father and traded it for her husband’s (from his father) upon marriage. In civil law countries – Spain and France, to name just two – married women officially keep their maiden names, but take the husband’s name for social purposes. Estimates vary, though, about the number of married American women who take their husband’s name, but most researchers agree that this practice has declined steadily in the past 15 years.

Laws and statutes regarding changing names are specific to individual states. Maryland permits hyphenation of both spouses’ names – or just about any name to be taken so long as there’s no fraud by the parties and no effort to take advantage of a celebrity. (Which means Jolie-Pitt may not be granted by the court.) Massachusetts, New York, and a handful of states permit the wife’s name to be taken by the groom upon marriage, but there has been no groundswell for this right elsewhere. Iowa permits the traditional adoption of the husband’s name, but also the husband to adopt the wife’s; or, both may change to a totally different new name. So Ms. Smith and Mr. Jones might combine to become the Smines or the Joiths, or, more likely, the Johnsons. This practice ensures that subsequent children and the parents will have the same name, while guaranteeing that college fundraising offices will rarely track down the couple.

When divorce rears its head, states generally permit the court that issues the divorce decree to restore a prior name to a divorcing female litigant given proper request to that court. The divorce decree will spell out the resulting surname and can be used as proof of the name change (for instance, “Ms. Fortensky’s surname is restored to Taylor.”) Most will permit any prior name to be restored. Thus, a woman may return to the last name of a prior spouse with whom she bore children or to her maiden name, if she chooses. And no, the first ex-husband has no right to object, much to the chagrin of the current missus. Usually no additional fee is involved with a change of name if done during the divorce proceeding.

Some women keep a prior name to avoid embarrassing combinations of names and a late-night mention by Jay Leno. A law school friend of mine kept her first husband’s name into her second marriage because she didn’t want to be known as “Holly Hooker.”

Those, however, who decide – after the divorce is final – to restore a prior name must file a new lawsuit, meaning they’ll incur additional fees and costs. Seeking an altogether new name usually results in a search of police records plus testimony that the change is not an attempt to defraud creditors or to avoid law enforcement.

Many women who chose in a first marriage to retain maiden names simply continue with that practice into second, third, and well, additional marriages (see Elizabeth Taylor). She’s following a bright historical path: The right for American women to keep surnames was vigorously promoted by suffragette Lucy Stone in the mid-1800s; for years thereafter, such renegade women were called “Lucy Stoners” in her honor.

Other women who have achieved professional status and reputation under a name may not want to lose the public recognition associated with it; those with medical degrees, law licenses, and Pulitzer Prizes attached will likely retain the previous moniker, regardless of marital pressure. Many a bride continues to use her name in business matters and her husband’s in social situations. Under the common law, this practice works so long as there is no intent to defraud others.

For a few, inertia is simply the moving force in life. The headache of notifying all the necessary organizations can be so overwhelming that many simply ignore the matter. It may take the expiration of a driver’s license, the arrival of new voter registration forms, or the birth of a child to provoke a decision to make a new name election.

In other words, whatever works…works.

When remarriage does result in a name change, the first step is to secure a new Social Security card, which will have the old number, new name. (See instructions and form SS-5.) A marriage certificate is acceptable evidence for a change of name. In the event of divorce or annulment, the Social Security Administration requires two additional original documents, one of which may be expired, with identifying information and/or photographs.

When it comes to a passport change of name, the government requires acceptable evidence of the name change: marriage certificate, divorce decree, or court order for changing the name, along with the passport to be replaced. (For further details on passport changes, see www.travel.state.gov/passport/get/correcting/correcting_2654.html.)

The passport or Social Security card only starts the process. Changes in myriad other documents can be time-consuming and may include the driver’s license, auto registration, insurance, investments and brokerage accounts, credit cards, utility bills, medical records, voter registration, professional licensing boards, wills, trusts, real property records, post office, membership organizations, and children’s schools. Each change is a separate endeavor and may come with a fee; unfortunately, there’s no “one step changes all.”

A smart travel agent I know reminds the wedding couple, as they book flights for the perfect honeymoon, that even if the bride is trading “Ms.” for “Mrs.,” the ticketed passenger must have photo identification in the name of the traveler. That’s unlikely unless the honeymoon is delayed.

Children present a whole separate challenge. Although remarriage gives a spouse the right-and opportunity-to change surnames, only a court with jurisdiction can confer a permanent change to a child’s name. Most courts require the consent of all living parents and, lacking agreement, will look at the best interest of the child, along with factors such as the strength of the relationship of the child with each parent, the need of a child to identify with a family unit, and the length of time the father’s name has been used. Some states require a child’s consent, if age appropriate, before the minor’s name can be changed. Even when a child prefers to use a stepparent’s name, or other children in the family bear a different surname, it is difficult to convince a court to change the name of a child when a living parent is contesting that change.

With regrets to Mr. Shakespeare’s “What’s in a name?” we say, evidently to the world at large: “Quite a lot!”

A former family court associate judge in Houston, Texas, Patricia Lasher has specialized in family law for more than 20 years, and written along the way. With her own remarriage, she now divides her time between Baltimore, Maryland, and Houston.