It took Shamu’s surprise wall of water to coax a smile out of my son Matt, 8 years old at the time. Though the term “FamilyMoon” was years from being invented, that’s basically what David, my soon-to-be-second husband, and I took Matt on when we went to Orlando for blended family togetherness and good times.

Matt refused to be wowed by Orlando. An expert at “stubborn,” Matt was unhappy about block-long, snaking lines, refused to smile for 2 days, and spoke as little as possible. But Shamu’s soaking surprised my scowling son straight into laughter.

Thanks to Shamu, we finally had our icebreaker. From then on, Matt let go of his forced indifference, talking more to David and even swinging through miniature golf with him after a day at the parks. On that trip too, David and Matt began a tradition they still enjoy decades later: playing gin rummy. Despite the initial tension and the lack of just-us-two moments, our FamilyMoon proved vital. It reinforced for Matt in a way that mere words couldn’t that he was very much a part of this new union.

That’s why so-called FamilyMoons—honeymoons that include the children—are a growing trend. After all, of the 2 million-plus weddings each year, more than 50 percent are remarriages and 65 percent of those involve couples with children. Add to that limits for days off from work and school plus the quality time vacations provide, and it makes sense that households starting out with “his” and “her” kids forgo the just-us-two, postwedding idyll for a fun-filled, toast-the-new-family trip.

These vacations could just be a getaway at a favorite place, like Donna B.’s beach wedding/FamilyMoon combo. “We rented a big beach house so everyone could be together.” Or it could be the trip of a lifetime for all. Whether you choose exotic islands or activity-filled cruises, or opt for a camping trip in a nearby state park, these extra special honeymoons break new emotional ground for the new family. Shamu may not star in your magical journey, but done right, a FamilyMoon’s joys are legion and lasting.

A vacation with children always requires careful planning, but a FamilyMoon takes even more thought.
Just remember four golden rules:

1. Seek options without stress. There’s enough with a new blended family; you don’t need to add screaming children and angst-ridden decisions to the mix.
2. Include activities that engage kids. It seems obvious, but, unlike the love-struck couple, the little ones or the teens don’t look to the beach for quiet relaxation. They want to body surf and play ball. Plan activities, preferably ones that team up kids who don’t know each other well.
3. Find packages that make it easy to estimate final costs. Combined households often have double the income, but you don’t want to start out by busting the budget.
4. Look for accommodations with a little privacy. This is your honeymoon, after all—let’s not forget that!

Candyce H. Stapen, a family travel expert for more than 20 years, is the Adventure Living editor for BellaOnline. Her 28th book is Fun With the Family: Virginia (Globe Pequot Press 2008).