Blog > Archive > Harmony in the Home: Tips for Everyday Stepfamily Living

Harmony in the Home: Tips for Everyday Stepfamily Living

  • Expect the storms! The dynamic of every newly created group is form, storm, norm, and perform – and it can take years for the “norm” to emerge. Venting is necessary. Take advantage of all safe stress-releasing outlets, such as support groups, either in person or online. You might find solutions to issues involving exes and more, or just a place to let off steam.
  • Find a common goal. Bring family members, no matter the age, together to focus on a cause: Fundraise for a community charity, adopt an impoverished family or a pet, even train for a race.
  • Disguise the critical family meeting. Teenagers in particular abhor forced family bonding. Instead, create movie or book nights with discussion – and you pick the topic. Choose a favorite restaurant as an incentive. Or, center the meeting around a chocolate fondue, cookie-baking, or pasta-making party.
  • Set up a calendar system right away. Send the message that everyone’s busy schedules matter, especially critical in joint custody situations. Use a range of communication styles – from paper to BlackBerrys – to engage all ages. Calendars enable the kids to take charge of their own responsibilities, rather than rely on frequent reminders from parents (“bio” or not).
  • Support your pets, too. Acclimate your dog and his cat, or whatever, before they move in together. A walk in the park may do it; sometimes a weekend or more of transition time is needed. Seek professional advice or animal behavioral training if problems persist.
  • Make new traditions, keep some old. Create entirely new birthday celebrations: Make Suzi’s favorite meal, plan a special outing, wear silly hats. Decorate the porch for the 4th of July. Set up two Christmas trees – one with a new theme, the other more familiar. Make a new menorah and set it alongside the old one.
  • Pictures hold a thousand memories. Be aware of the balance of photos around the house: one set of grandparents, but not the other? Your biological children’s school pictures, but not your stepchildren’s? Feeling left out can lead to tremendous grief.
[BlogMarks] [del.icio.us] [Digg] [Facebook] [Google] [MySpace] [Newsvine] [Reddit] [Shoutwire] [StumbleUpon] [Technorati]

Comments are closed.